In 2009, one of my best friends Jentry and I were able to join my brother, Trent, and tour Southeast Asia together for 3 months. It was an incredible trip full of unexpected twists and turns and more fun than I could have imagined.
The three of us floating around in Borneo.
Throughout the trek, we were constantly weeding out the people trying to scam us. At times it was exhausting, and it made me a little callous to anyone trying to sell me stuff. I hated the idea of paying more than the locals did (this goes back to my obsession with finding the absolute best deals on things) and at points I found myself acting appalled when street vendors requested two dollars for fake Ray Bans when there was no way I would pay a penny over a buck fifty.
Here's us saving money in Thailand by copying the locals and cramming all of us onto a tiny scooter for the day.
This cheapskate attitude was perfectly exemplified on a side trip to Laos. Trent needed to stay in Bangkok, so Jentry and I hopped on a bus to Luang Prabang for a little escape. It was 12 hours but we didn't care.
Until about 4 hours in, when I realized the seat I'd chosen was right above the exhaust, which was somehow spewing heat (and exhaust) back into the bus, under my seat. It was already hot out and there definitely wasn't AC on the bus. So 12 hours like that was, well, less than dreamy.
In addition, the headrests were white and covered with some pretty gnarly stains. So I just looked out the window and figured, well, sometimes you just have to roll with the punches to get someplace good. That was after a few round of dry heaving.
We finally arrived, tired, hot, and hungry. The tuk tuks were waiting, and locals swarmed us with brochures for their hotels. One of them looked pretty fancy, and the guy assured us it was only 80,000 Kip/night (about $10). I clarified with him a couple times, knowing well that there was a 95% chance he was full of crap.
We arrived at the hotel and began checking in. The front desk person asked us for 100,000 Kip.
“Hold on,” I said. “The driver guy told us it was only 80,000.”
“No, I'm sorry, it's 100,000.”
I argued with her a little longer, and then I threw in the towel, threw on my backpack, turned to Jentry, and said, “We're walkin'!”
Now, this is Jentry's favorite part of the story. He loves telling it, because when he impersonates me during this part, he does it in such a way that makes me seem 100% insane. Please observe:
Apparently he remembers it in slow-mo.
Anyway, the level-headed Jentry quickly reminded me that the difference was only about two U.S. dollars, and that it was a screamin' deal for how incredible the place was. So I collected myself and reluctantly obliged, scowling at the woman all the while.
About 30 minutes later, after checking into our amazing room, we were sitting in a restaurant drinking mango lassis, eating amazing cuisine, and looking out over the most spectacular view of rivers, valleys and mountains I'd ever seen. And all for only two dollars more than I thought it would be (by then we were also cracking up about how I'd reacted to the hotel lady).
I loved how Jentry never lost site of the big picture—a trait he's always had and I admire. It made me want to be better about not over-reacting when things get tough, stressful, or hard. And I, of course, still struggle with that.
So often I lose touch with that bigger picture, and the line between things that do and don't matter becomes blurred. I frequently make calls in the heat of the moment, and later realize it was a knee-jerk reaction to fear, stress or anxiety. It's then that I have to try and remember what's worth worrying or stressing about, and usually whatever it is I'm concerned about really isn't worth fretting over.
Because lets be honest, stress is a real lady-dog (trying to get creative with my attempts to swear less, sorry!). It ages you, exhausts you, makes you sick, causes anxiety and basically eats away at your soul. But we can choose out of it a lot of the time.
Look at it this way. Is the thing you're stressing about life or death? Will it drastically affect the course of your life? If so, then ya, you have full permission to stress until it's resolved.
But if it's neither of those things, and you won't lose your job, a loved one, or yourself, then take a second to put that into perspective and just remember, things will work out. They always do.
